Funny that my last blog was years ago and it was counting down the days until we moved from Texas. Let's quickly update- in 2016 I left. I left Texas, I left my husband, I left my friends, and my business, Deklan's soccer field....I just disappeared. In short, I perceived there was a dangerous environment for my kids and I lacked family support and resources to deal so I ran home to California. It was NOT a cowardly thing to do. It was the most difficult decision I ever had to make and I firmly believe that it was the best possible option. I've heard a lot of bad stuff in my time as a therapist, but this was my catastrophic limit.
So for the last year, we have floated from a trailer to family's homes, to a one bedroom apartment where I slept on the floor, and finally after about 7 months- we nested in a four bedroom house with a pool. After 2 months here, I found a wonderful housemate that gives me all the benefits of having a two-parent household, with no marital liability. I remember the day I broke down and needed to cry and my housemate fed the kids dinner while I laid on MY bed in MY room and got it out. I realized how blessed I really was in that moment. Just a month or so before, I would've been laying on my floor, in the living room, with kids bouncing on my skull as I hid my tears.
My kids still FaceTime their dad everyday (he could not leave Texas, since he is military), and they soak him up when he is here to visit. Somehow it's always timed well with birthdays and daddy & me events, etc. They seem to have adjusted well, and most of all, I feel like they are safe and well supported by both sides of the family.
I have succeeded in my career world by using my experiences to help other military families going through hard stuff. I've opened a private practice office here in California, and I now have licenses in Nevada and Texas as well. People can can (and sometime prefer!) to call in or video chat sessions rather than go in to an office once a week. I still want to use this blog to map out life for my children, but I also want to start sharing tips and life lessons I've found helpful in this personal journey as well. So, from now on, it will be called- CalaFamily Therapy Blog and requests are welcome!
The most satisfying thing to me is to take my struggles and turn them around into something that could potentially spare someone else. "No pain is completely in vain."
Thanks for reading!