Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Sorry, Not Sorry!

Bless me, children for I have sinned. My last offense was 5 minutes ago...

(Before I even start, and on a complete side note- I think its funny that I still have not bookmarked this blog. I have to Google search for it every time. Calafam? Calafamily? Calahan Family?)

I'll keep this short, mainly because I have to. 

My hair dresser once told me, "The secret, is to get up early. Get up before your kids so you can have a cup of coffee by yourself, and take a shower without anyone rushing you. The secret is- (she really said this, kids) Just don't sleep!" Bitch. Of course SHE could afford this luxury. Only SHE could turn lack of sleep into a luxury. She's blonde and cute, tiny waist... "The secret is- Just don't eat!" I say to myself in mockery. 

But then I heard this sage advice, again on a podcast. I listen to podcasts to fall asleep every night. I hardly have time for my own thoughts, so I find comfort in falling asleep to the strung together, coherent thoughts of other people. "Mighty Mommy" as she has probably dubbed herself, said "to boost your energy and productivity try getting up just 30-45 min earlier than the rest of your family. JUST 30-45 min?! 

Alright so here I am; been up since 4:00 am. Super great... I couldn't go back to sleep, so I thought, let me try this. I took a shower, I even used the new body scrub I bought but haven't used before today because I didn't want to call Deklan's attention to it and have him spill it all over the tub. I even washed my hair without someone yelling,"It's raining!!!". And that's where I went wrong- I spent too much time on one activity when I had a million ideas for things I want to do alone! I gambled it all away on one shower. 

Afterwards, I glued on all my nails while the cat meowed at me in anger for wanting to be fed. "How dare you be up and not feed me! Meow meow". I tell him, "Shut up! I got up so no one would bother me!" Then, Deklan woke up. I could hear him fall out of bed and start trying the door knob (which thank God you haven't mastered yet.) Chills ran down my spine. I'm busted. It is now 6:05, a mere 15 min from the time I quit breastfeeding and gave up on falling back to sleep. I chose to ignore Deklan and find humor in the situation through this blog "real quick". I'm pretty sure he's spying on me from under his door. He's banging things around in there, tempting me to go check on him but I resist. Then Joel walks in, "Why are you up? What are you doing typing on the floor?" I repsond, "I got up so no one would bother me." :( He grunts as if to say, "geez...what's you're problem". It's true too, I'm fluent in his grunts by now. 

This all went downhill quickly. Increased productivity, my butt.

No comments:

Post a Comment